Wednesday, April 15, 20091:28 AM
■ Emo
haha. a sudden set back.
I think I am going crazy soon. For the past few months I always have been thinking....
Why should I care about someone who don't care?
Why am I so stupid to still hold on to the past?
Why do I act as if I don't care when I care so much?
Why do I expect from others so much when they are not me ?
Why do I think that people would think the same way as I think?
Why am I such a person where the people I trust most always turns their back on me?
Why am I the one? Why? WHY?
I am so damn sad about many things that I cant even say it. I am really tired about this life I am leading. I felt so Pathetic. It always seems that I am begging someone... It hurts me so much.
I felt that my heart is aching... so much that I just wanna stop.
Sometimes I just wanna go somewhere and cry. But no one was there for me...NO ONE.
if I say it, no one would listen. No one actually tries to be there for me.
No one would actually be there for me.
They always think that the problem lies with me. I am the one who is wrong. Who is unable to communicate and like a stupid fool.
I've been thinking back where i'll always be there for everyone.
But it turns out that no one is there for me in return.
It turns out to be that I should stop doing so as I aint a superwoman.
I cant control what they think, how they feel. I aint God.
I should be more selfish. what my family says may be true. I treats my friends better than my family.
I think I am the one who is zhi zhuo duo qing.
I should just give up. I shouldnt be nice.
Now thinking of these...
Was it just a call for me to wake up from that long sleep? Now I was half awaken.
I am afraid that when I am fully awake, I will turn into another person...dont expect her to be nice..it may seems a little dramatic.. but you will never know what a person can do when she was being hurt so deeply.
A complete stranger may do just fine. No one will get hurt.
Thats the best that I can do to stop getting myself hurt by all the little things they do to hurt me, even when they dont notice..
I can only say that...
Years of friendship is just like sand... You hold it tight in your hands.. but in the end, as time flies, the sand will slip through your fingers...leaving a little left in your palms,that will be your memory.
Everything said by me for myself is sad but true.
I AM NOT PERFECT. NO ONE IS.
So I shouldnt expect the same amount of return I will get back after giving out so much.
Cause no one will be as stupid as me. NO ONE.
So I should WAKE MY BLOODY HELL UP! DAMN!
Change
~Jia Jia~
I think I am going crazy soon. For the past few months I always have been thinking....
Why should I care about someone who don't care?
Why am I so stupid to still hold on to the past?
Why do I act as if I don't care when I care so much?
Why do I expect from others so much when they are not me ?
Why do I think that people would think the same way as I think?
Why am I such a person where the people I trust most always turns their back on me?
Why am I the one? Why? WHY?
I am so damn sad about many things that I cant even say it. I am really tired about this life I am leading. I felt so Pathetic. It always seems that I am begging someone... It hurts me so much.
I felt that my heart is aching... so much that I just wanna stop.
Sometimes I just wanna go somewhere and cry. But no one was there for me...NO ONE.
if I say it, no one would listen. No one actually tries to be there for me.
No one would actually be there for me.
They always think that the problem lies with me. I am the one who is wrong. Who is unable to communicate and like a stupid fool.
I've been thinking back where i'll always be there for everyone.
But it turns out that no one is there for me in return.
It turns out to be that I should stop doing so as I aint a superwoman.
I cant control what they think, how they feel. I aint God.
I should be more selfish. what my family says may be true. I treats my friends better than my family.
I think I am the one who is zhi zhuo duo qing.
I should just give up. I shouldnt be nice.
Now thinking of these...
Was it just a call for me to wake up from that long sleep? Now I was half awaken.
I am afraid that when I am fully awake, I will turn into another person...dont expect her to be nice..it may seems a little dramatic.. but you will never know what a person can do when she was being hurt so deeply.
A complete stranger may do just fine. No one will get hurt.
Thats the best that I can do to stop getting myself hurt by all the little things they do to hurt me, even when they dont notice..
I can only say that...
Years of friendship is just like sand... You hold it tight in your hands.. but in the end, as time flies, the sand will slip through your fingers...leaving a little left in your palms,that will be your memory.
Everything said by me for myself is sad but true.
I AM NOT PERFECT. NO ONE IS.
So I shouldnt expect the same amount of return I will get back after giving out so much.
Cause no one will be as stupid as me. NO ONE.
So I should WAKE MY BLOODY HELL UP! DAMN!
Change
~Jia Jia~